I love you and durst commend a secret to your ear

 This summer is flying by, and I realize I've not really updated my blog in ages.  So, to my four loyal readers, my sincere apologies. 

I haven't played supporting roles since grad school, so it was an adjustment at first. In many ways, they are much more difficult to play than leads. For instance, when you play most leading roles, there is plenty of dialogue to let you know who this person is you are playing. There's also a lot more action to give you things to do. But there is a certain amount of freedom that comes with that as well.  As the summer wears on, I am finding some new things about both of my characters. 

In Henry VIII, I am playing Sir Thomas Lovell.  I believe I have about seven lines, but I am onstage for the entire show. Also, my character is incredibly high status in the kingdom and his name may be mentioned more than anybody else in the play. He was clearly an important man in the kingdom, and Shakespeare and Fletcher show that with his constantly being named. But it's a bit of a mind-fuck for an actor to play a character who has very little to say and still have the gravitas to be a person who owns most rooms he's in. I've found more ease in doing this, and I have begun to find little moments to assert myself, even silently.  

Antonio in Much Ado also doesn't say much, but I do have a juicy scene where I threaten to beat the crap out of Claudio. Again, as I settle into the role, I am finding little nuances which make a huge difference to me, and probably aren't at all noticeable to the audience, except those who happen to have their eyes wander over to me.  But I like Antonio quite a bit.

I've had a few visitors since I've been here. The first was my childhood babysitter from Pittsburgh, Tracy. It was fun hearing about my life as a child from somebody that remembered it better than me. She came and saw Much Ado and loved it.

Next, Christy, Brent, and Ariana came to see Much Ado, but a power outage canceled the show which was a bummer.  But it was a nice visit.

Finally, my high school drama teacher, Dave, came to see several shows at the festival and to surprise me with his wife Cindy.  It was great catching up with him and he seemed to genuinely enjoy the performances.  He also commented on my laser focus as Lovell.   If there's one thing I am committed to this summer, it is being present and living authentically onstage, and hearing everything for the first time. 

We also are meeting with directors and casting people from all over the country, which is a cool outreach the actors of the festival participate in. I don't know if anything will come from it, but I am meeting some awesome folks.

My only two struggles are with being away from the family for so long, and my own ego. The first is obvious.  The second makes me a bit ashamed. I'm used to leading productions and seasons and getting immediate gratification for my work. It's not that people haven't been lovely, and certainly everybody at the festival is given the same sort of voice and place at the table.  It's simply my own internal struggle of knowing what I can do, when literally nobody else here has an idea of how good I am, (or how good I think I am). It really is a shameful way to feel, and I don't feel it all the time, but when I walk out of the  theatre after a performance and a guy asks to take a picture and means for me to take a picture of him and his family and not a picture with me, it's a blow to my ego. But that comes from the pettiest part of myself and one I'm not proud of. The greater part of the time, I am so happy and grateful to be here with all these wonderful people and being able to practice my craft in a different way than has been usual.